normalcy

two months ago, rising up from the floor seemed impossible. a dog’s paws, literally on her arm, holding. consoling. there was the shaking. the uncontrollable sobbing. and then the shriveling. the weakness. the darkness. the hunger. but now lying in bed, naked, a glimmer of light peeks through the blinds, accentuating the curves of her […]

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good

it was quite a day of ups and downs. and not just in yoga. heard from someone I’ve been missing so, so much and it both helped and hurt … but it was needed. much needed. dare I say it was even good. difficult, yes. but good. there was therapy right after (thank goodness) and […]

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stolen words

family. Fort Benjamin Harrison State Park, Lawrence, Indiana. photo by me. my ear stays pressed against the ground in all the places your feet found rest. I track the echo of you, ghost steps on haunted floors, and I wait forever for the sound of footsteps that might never walk back to me again. poems […]

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breathe

watch me as I go … to yoga. today was my first yoga class. this is me, after the class: dude. I’m smiling. and I’m not going to tell you if I faked it or not. 😉 but hey. I didn’t fall over. I twisted up just like a pretzel, exactly like I was supposed […]

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truth is …

an open letter to the man I loved, still love and will always love. Dear you: truth is things are going great. truth is things are a fucking mess. this is where things stand here. here’s the deal: you showed up and changed everything. you left and changed everything. it’s life. we deal. we always […]

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no comfort

when I move my foot over even a few inches, it’s just cold. I wake and immediately feel alone. yesterday, I woke crying. I don’t know how long I’d been crying. that was weird. I told someone the other day that I remember this part … the not being able to leave my tiny corner. […]

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#metoo

I was 6 the first time I saw a penis other than my father’s. My grandmother’s neighbor had a son, Bobby, about my age. He pulled the line on me, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” I didn’t even know what he meant until he pulled my shirt up and then pulled […]

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that time I hated Paris

I had walked around the streets of Paris for what felt like at least 30 miles before I gave in and bought a ticket for a red double-decker “hop on-hop off” bus. it was a bold move for someone who admittedly would rather slit her wrists and bleed out slowly than to take in a […]

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soar

it’s her own fault. she put him there, up on that pedestal. the same pedestal he uses to climb up so he can look down on her. to yell at her. to make her feel like a child. she feels defenseless and worthless. and it’s her own fault, building him up that way. giving him that position. backing […]

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