soar

it’s her own fault. she put him there, up on that pedestal. the same pedestal he uses to climb up so he can look down on her. to yell at her. to make her feel like a child. she feels defenseless and worthless. and it’s her own fault, building him up that way. giving him that position. backing […]

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how do you love?

“I want to tell you about something I saw the other day,” she told him. “something that reminded me of you.” so she fell straight into the story, start to finish. it wasn’t a long story, and she was doing just fine, even though she felt herself taking deeper breaths as she neared the end. […]

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right here

all I wanted was for you to come with me. not to follow. not to lead. not steps ahead or steps behind. I wanted you right next to me. maybe even holding my hand. this is where we should be. together. in this place. now. today. tomorrow. forever. right here.

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tail of the dog

as I sit here, my boys are socializing with their new (and first) dog. Cali’s a rescue, and being part Australian Cattle Dog and part Australian Shepherd means she’s a full-on Aussie. and they’re full-on hooked. she’s figuring them out as they throw sticks and bounce balls and talk in high voices to get her attention. she drops […]

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psst.

I’ve been known to overshare. I sometimes don’t know when to stop. but I want to tell you something. promise me it’s OK. promise me it won’t change anything. but I believe this to be true: everyday, a new story begins. sometimes my story is filled with love and joy and laughter and adventure. those […]

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experience life

the guys (minus biggest brother who was hiding from the sun) have a chat on Cocoa Beach, Florida. it’s been a while since I told the boys we need to spend our money on adventures and experiences instead of things. we did well with this, mostly. we went places. saw things. admired art and ran through […]

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colorful you

dear Leonardo: I miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss the color of your belly and how empty you were inside. I miss the sound you made as you drifted back and forth. I miss the way you made me feel. I wanted to explore with you and find every hidden gem you had […]

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((hugs))

through it all, she had to remind herself that she’d come a long way. and even when things weren’t as shiny and happy as she’d like them to be, she was at least still standing. and she didn’t need anyone or anything to make her feel important, loved, strong. she had to remember that. she had to keep […]

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freckles

it’s too cold to move. I long for the beach, to feel real sand between my toes. not playground sand, but white sand that feels like flour. I want the warm sun on my shoulders. last night, my youngest put lotion on my back, to help cure the dry skin that plagues me every winter. […]

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