two months ago, rising up from the floor seemed impossible. a dog’s paws, literally on her arm, holding. consoling. there was the shaking. the uncontrollable sobbing. and then the shriveling. the weakness. the darkness. the hunger. but now lying in bed, naked, a glimmer of light peeks through the blinds, accentuating the curves of her […]Read more "normalcy"
it was quite a day of ups and downs. and not just in yoga. heard from someone I’ve been missing so, so much and it both helped and hurt … but it was needed. much needed. dare I say it was even good. difficult, yes. but good. there was therapy right after (thank goodness) and […]Read more "good"
please don’t tell me how to grieve. stop saying that I overshare. stop telling me that I’m humiliating myself by talking about all of the good memories. and please stop telling me I need to be angry and move on. stop telling me things that make the tiniest pieces of my heart that haven’t yet […]Read more "process"
an open letter to the man I loved, still love and will always love. Dear you: truth is things are going great. truth is things are a fucking mess. this is where things stand here. here’s the deal: you showed up and changed everything. you left and changed everything. it’s life. we deal. we always […]Read more "truth is …"
when I move my foot over even a few inches, it’s just cold. I wake and immediately feel alone. yesterday, I woke crying. I don’t know how long I’d been crying. that was weird. I told someone the other day that I remember this part … the not being able to leave my tiny corner. […]Read more "no comfort"
it’s startling, really, how a simple object collecting dust around the house can leave you whimpering on the ground like a dying rat. and then, once you’ve gained a bit of your composure, you look around and realize that even from the vantage point down here on the floor every god damn item within eyeshot […]Read more "thread"
It was brave, what he did. Admitting you’re scared is never easy to do. Truth is, they were both scared. Since they both admitted it, maybe it would get them somewhere. She was hopeful but not holding her breath, no matter how much she longed for peace and happiness to return. But she wanted and […]Read more "already gone"
she held the memories close to her heart. memories are, after all, what keeps us moving. they keep us loving and learning and wanting more. what else do we have but memories? they are our stories. they weave us into who we are now and who we’ll become tomorrow. she knew change was imminent. it […]Read more "let them fly"
she dropped her head to the table. that alone hurt, but it didn’t matter anymore. the headache paled in comparison to the massive explosion that was happening all around her. this time, she could feel it in her chest. she felt it in her neck, too. but that’s nothing new. ever since the spine surgery, […]Read more "overwhelmed"