normalcy

two months ago, rising up from the floor seemed impossible. a dog’s paws, literally on her arm, holding. consoling. there was the shaking. the uncontrollable sobbing. and then the shriveling. the weakness. the darkness. the hunger. but now lying in bed, naked, a glimmer of light peeks through the blinds, accentuating the curves of her […]

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good

it was quite a day of ups and downs. and not just in yoga. heard from someone I’ve been missing so, so much and it both helped and hurt … but it was needed. much needed. dare I say it was even good. difficult, yes. but good. there was therapy right after (thank goodness) and […]

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process

please don’t tell me how to grieve. stop saying that I overshare. stop telling me that I’m humiliating myself by talking about all of the good memories. and please stop telling me I need to be angry and move on. stop telling me things that make the tiniest pieces of my heart that haven’t yet […]

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lighten up

sometimes when we mess up, or something happens to us, we find it hard, impossible even, to stop ourselves from carrying that with us throughout the rest of our days. we know we’re doing it, and yet we can’t stop it. sometimes that load is too much. sometimes we need help. and too often we […]

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truth is …

an open letter to the man I loved, still love and will always love. Dear you: truth is things are going great. truth is things are a fucking mess. this is where things stand here. here’s the deal: you showed up and changed everything. you left and changed everything. it’s life. we deal. we always […]

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and then my heart exploded

images by Polar Bear International.   this is so terribly sad. you love polar bears. and who else loves polar bears like we do? remember that time I adopted one for you? I thought it was the best gift ever for the best love ever. I never realized we were on thin ice. maybe I […]

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perfect is boring

six is my favorite number. and now,¬†exactly six years ago,¬†this: i won’t hate you. i won’t hate you anyway, but definitely not over a blister. fuck perfect. you and me, and no bullshit, and no perfection. perfect is boring. bring on life. bring on real. broken down parts, pff. i have currently 3 scabs on […]

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grief

we grieve the loss of the person we met and fell in love with. we won’t miss the one who abandoned us.  

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no comfort

when I move my foot over even a few inches, it’s just cold. I wake and immediately feel alone. yesterday, I woke crying. I don’t know how long I’d been crying. that was weird. I told someone the other day that I remember this part … the not being able to leave my tiny corner. […]

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