two months ago, rising up from the floor seemed impossible. a dog’s paws, literally on her arm, holding. consoling. there was the shaking. the uncontrollable sobbing. and then the shriveling. the weakness. the darkness. the hunger. but now lying in bed, naked, a glimmer of light peeks through the blinds, accentuating the curves of her […]Read more "normalcy"
it was quite a day of ups and downs. and not just in yoga. heard from someone I’ve been missing so, so much and it both helped and hurt … but it was needed. much needed. dare I say it was even good. difficult, yes. but good. there was therapy right after (thank goodness) and […]Read more "good"
please don’t tell me how to grieve. stop saying that I overshare. stop telling me that I’m humiliating myself by talking about all of the good memories. and please stop telling me I need to be angry and move on. stop telling me things that make the tiniest pieces of my heart that haven’t yet […]Read more "process"
watch me as I go … to yoga. today was my first yoga class. this is me, after the class: dude. I’m smiling. and I’m not going to tell you if I faked it or not. 😉 but hey. I didn’t fall over. I twisted up just like a pretzel, exactly like I was supposed […]Read more "breathe"
sometimes when we mess up, or something happens to us, we find it hard, impossible even, to stop ourselves from carrying that with us throughout the rest of our days. we know we’re doing it, and yet we can’t stop it. sometimes that load is too much. sometimes we need help. and too often we […]Read more "lighten up"
an open letter to the man I loved, still love and will always love. Dear you: truth is things are going great. truth is things are a fucking mess. this is where things stand here. here’s the deal: you showed up and changed everything. you left and changed everything. it’s life. we deal. we always […]Read more "truth is …"
when I move my foot over even a few inches, it’s just cold. I wake and immediately feel alone. yesterday, I woke crying. I don’t know how long I’d been crying. that was weird. I told someone the other day that I remember this part … the not being able to leave my tiny corner. […]Read more "no comfort"
I was 6 the first time I saw a penis other than my father’s. My grandmother’s neighbor had a son, Bobby, about my age. He pulled the line on me, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” I didn’t even know what he meant until he pulled my shirt up and then pulled […]Read more "#metoo"
it’s startling, really, how a simple object collecting dust around the house can leave you whimpering on the ground like a dying rat. and then, once you’ve gained a bit of your composure, you look around and realize that even from the vantage point down here on the floor every god damn item within eyeshot […]Read more "thread"
It was brave, what he did. Admitting you’re scared is never easy to do. Truth is, they were both scared. Since they both admitted it, maybe it would get them somewhere. She was hopeful but not holding her breath, no matter how much she longed for peace and happiness to return. But she wanted and […]Read more "already gone"