what now?

I need a shtick.

lately, I’ve been feeling a bit bleh about some things. not everything. just some things. life in general is kickass, and I have so, so much to be thankful for. and I am. but sometimes I feel boring and uncreative and filled with ideas that go nowhere.

in my mind, and only in my mind, I have started a Steelers magazine. I have my own (highly successful) whoopie pie truck. I dress in the most awesome outfits (think a mix of stevie nicks and any outdoorsy retail catalog … something in between is me). I have kickass hair and perfect joints and I’m writing another fascinating article for Esquire all while putting off sending my novel to my editor because, let’s just be honest, I don’t like any of her suggested edits. ever. I live near the beach in a village where I can’t understand the local language (but I’m trying). I have made money from my photography as well as my writing and my kids still think I’m cool because I got to be on the field for a Steelers game once (that part is true) and because I went canyoning while on a work trip in Switzerland (that part is true, too). I get paid to travel and take photos (OK, that part is somewhat true as well). sometimes I even get to make all the decisions. (that’s never true).

so yeah. that’s me. mostly living inside my head instead of out here with you all. (read: yinz. y’all.) a lot can happen within minutes inside this head. I have a lot of ideas. it’s all over the place … a hot mess right up in there most of the time. but it’s fun. that’s for sure.

so. a shtick.

on the white board behind me at work, someone scrawled “What would you do differently if you knew no one would judge you?” would I go for it and quit my job to start a whoopie pie business? probably not. would I burn my bras, as someone answered? hell yes. would I chuck it all and move to Italy and become a freelance writer for a travel magazine? I wish. but doubtful. too risky. but will I live there someday and figure out a way to make money? quite possibly.

I think I dream of having a shtick but lack the initiative and drive to go get one. I feel lazy. out of sorts. I haven’t picked up a camera to take photos just for me in, well, FOREVER. I don’t write for myself. I neglect this blog. I don’t feel talented and motivated. I just don’t.

I need a shtick.

I hate “mommy bloggers” and have little to offer there, anyway. people have kids. yes. nothing special here. yes, I’m mom to three boys. again, topic is covered. too much. boogers and farts and broken things and yelling. that’s all you need to know and you already do. that’s not my shtick.

so yeah. I got nothin’ … and it’s driving me insane.

I’m not asking for fame and fortune. I just need a creative idea that I’m not too lazy and/or lacking in talent to pull off.

I need a shtick, dammit.

 

 

 

 

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