this one is trashy

my husband does funny things sometimes. remember how I’ve mentioned that since we are from very different cultures, we do some very different things? well, his being from Austria probably has zero to do with this story, but I just wanted to throw that out there in case our cultural differences can explain away the incredible weirdness that he displays once in awhile. (note: I’m pretty sure I’m weird all the time. he’s just weird some of the time. or something.) anyway … here goes. I just had to change the bag in the kitchen trash can, which reminded me of something funny that happened a month or so ago. the kitchen trash bag needed to be changed then, too, but I couldn’t change it because we were out of trash bags. So, obviously, I left the trash can empty, without a bag, for a day or two because a) I was too lazy and cheap to go buy new bags and b) I was too lazy and cheap to go buy new bags. anyway, husband comes home from a work trip and suddenly there’s a trash bag in the trash can. I ask a) how in the world did he know that we needed trash bags and b) where the hell did he get them? you see, we have a funky trash can that of course only takes special-sized bags that you can only get in a special store, NOT a grocery store. which is stupid and a pain in the ass and means we spend about 153% more than the average trash bag shopper. this is bullshit. this was not my idea. or maybe it was. but for the sake of this story, it was not my idea. so as I write this I have to laugh because all along, we had trash bags. and only the husband knew where they were. because … they were in the trash can. all of them. all of our trash bags were kept, where else, but INSIDE the trash can. so when I took out the trash bag to throw outside in a larger trash receptacle, the secret stash of trash bags were unveiled. but why would I know that? why would anyone look UNDER the used, full trash bag to find perfectly new and fresh and clean and unused trash bags underneath? who does this? who hides trash bags in the trash can? I am still flabbergasted and need an explanation. even though it now makes perfect sense, I want to know who comes up with that idea and what else he’s hiding from me. is he hiding ham under the ham? I mean, sometimes there are random Frosted Flakes under the Frosted Flakes bag, but I don’t do that shit on purpose. that’s just faulty engineering and bad bag ripping that causes the flakes to fall into the space between the cereal box and bag and then they collect at the bottom of the box. but I consider that a sweet surprise because a) they are sweet and b) it’s like a hidden extra bowl of cereal you didn’t think you had. but hiding trash bags inside the trash can? that’s just weird.

3 thoughts on “this one is trashy

  1. Ha! The image of him hiding ham under ham!!! Hiding trash bags under trash bags is something the cleaning crew does here at work. It’s the first time I’d seen it. It’s a great idea as long as the bag you’re using doesn’t rip and drip all over the new ones.

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