like that time with the asparagus

so we’ve been talking about it and joking about it for a while now, so maybe we should just make it happen. that thing we both do. big ideas. lofty goals. creative brainstorming. we work well together in the kitchen. meaning: he does all the work while I stay out of the way. sometimes we talk. other times there’s music. always eating and laughing. until there isn’t laughing. then there’s yelling. which is mostly me but sometimes he is right in there, too. like that time with the asparagus. yes, asparagus. kid you not. it was like a bomb went off and I didn’t want asparagus and all hell broke loose. food makes us passionate, yo. like for reals. and when I don’t want something or like something or even SUSPECT I don’t like something, I want nothing to do with it. (I know, I know. it’s impossible to think I can be such a brat. alas.) and then that wanting nothing to do with it makes him steam up inside like a little mussel or a dumpling. all steamy. so no, I didn’t want asparagus with some cheese sauce over it for dinner. that’s a side dish in this country, thankyouverymuch. we need something else, I say. like what, he asks. hell if I know, I add, but asparagus with some sauce over it sure as hell ain’t a main dish, it’s a side. everyone knows that. everyone. I say it with conviction. evereeeeeone. and then it’s hyperbole and it’s loud and stupid and next thing I know we aren’t eating anything for dinner. fucking asparagus. which everyone knows makes your pee smell even weirder than pee smells so why the hell would you want to eat it anyway? and add on top of it some stinky foot cheese and VOILA! we have a main dish. I think not. nope. not happening. and so this is where I laugh when looking back on the absurdity because I can and because we have plans. we make shit happen and have ideas, baby. we are filled to the top with ideas. and our idea has been to write about and photograph our adventures in the kitchen. you know, he being the cook and I the pretend photographer (oh, stop that! you’re good. you shine, baby. your work is mahhhhvelous.). he being all European and shit and me being all “this is how it’s done in America.” or something. anyway, we figured along the way we’d get your ideas and feedback on the wonkiness that is rearing its head. the … let’s call them “international differences” or “cultural differences.” or squabbles. or “he likes this or that because he’s used to this or that” and “I think it’s nuts because I’m used to that and this.” and vice versa. so there. we deal. sometimes better than others, apparently. but we shall ask for (and hopefully get) your thoughts and I’ll even ask for professional advice and tips to back up our weirdness when necessary (I’m looking at you, Nicci Micco). it will be fun. we have a running list of things already … things we’ve disagreed upon, snarled over and laughed about later. like, for instance, whothehell eats asparagus with cheese sauce as a main dish? aparently, somebodeeeeee. (I ain’t namin’ names.) but maybe not evereeeeeone. (even the internet sides with me on this one. at least on this page. there it is, folks, in plain black and white. in ENGLISH, even. it’s a “side dish.” woot! woot!) anyway. this is an adventure. we signed up for it. so we deal. and hey, we’ve had some good times in the kitchen already. so we’d love to have you follow along. cheers! good eats! bon appetit! mahlzeit!


no, this isn’t asparagus.
because, who the hell
wants asparagus
if you can have THIS?

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