letting go

it’s finally getting warmer outside and we are all craving activity after a long few months of hibernation. it’s normal. you’re feeling it, too, I’m sure. with spring comes change, of course. leaves will soon appear. the grass will begin to grow again. everything will grow again. especially the kids. kids seem to grow more in the spring, too. and with the spring growth comes other changes as well. some are easier to take than others. it’s been hard for me to accept some of these changes, but I’m trying. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around things that used to seem so fun and enjoyable but that are now causing arguments and strife. I don’t want to believe it’s true, but both of my older sons have decided to NOT go out for the middle school track team this season. they each have their own reason, and I guess they are valid reasons, but it still makes my heart hurt. I am biting my tongue a little (just a little) and hoping they don’t quit EVERYTHING they have ever loved, but it’s hard. it’s so very, very hard. I need to not be a stage mom. I need to step aside and allow them to make their own decisions, no matter what (as long as they aren’t getting hurt or hurting anyone else, of course). I have to admit I did tell them that I suspect in a few weeks they will have doubts and second thoughts about their decision, but that by then it will be too late. I’m not good at disappointment. and it shows. just looking for photos to post with this blog made me tear up. I’m a mess. it’s so silly, but I am. I see them growing up (G is as tall as me now) and I want to hold on to every second. I hate seeing them struggle with decisions and life. they are so young. it should be easier. it should be so much easier for us all.

One thought on “letting go

  1. Andrew, who did not get any of the athletics genes (everything in that arena seemingly went to his sister) ended up on cross country simply because there were no tryouts. Each year, he disliked it more. Finally, before his junior year, he got up the courage to tell me he wanted to quit. I I didn’t want him to do nothing, so I used it as a bargaining chip. In exchange, he agreed to my insistence to go on stage — after all, he DOES come from a long line of frustrated showmen — and join the Ski Club. The latter was not only for the socialization but to provide him something he could continue into adulthood. Turns out he stole the show as Bottom in “Midsummer Night’s Dream.” He also wound up thanking me profusely for “making” him join the ski club. Our kids always had “choices.” As parents, we provided those choices.

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