so yeah. the internet is all abuzz about plus-sized models finally earning their spots inside the coveted Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. and it seems the people are in a tizzy. a thin tizzy. because you know what? there are so many things wrong with this topic that it almost makes me ill that I’ve decided to write about it. I’m going to try very hard to stay short and sweet and on topic. but this is tough, folks. as a woman who straddles the “average” fence, sometimes falling to the smaller side and oftentimes toppling over the bigger side, I find it tough to look at these two women, who look completely different, and think of them as anything but hot stuff. the woman in the ad, Ashley Graham, has voluptuous curves. she’s gorgeous. and the “plus-sized” model Robyn Lawley is just downright thin and healthy and stunning. but let’s see how many times we can throw “plus-sized” in both of their faces. and in the faces of women everywhere. so here’s the deal, folks. I am not the person who will very often scream about how one sex is treated over the other. oftentimes I think we all need to get over ourselves and just deal. but in this case, I’m rubbed. because you know what? if someone is smaller than the “average” American woman, don’t call her plus-sized. she’s now average, not bigger. not smaller. average. but then, average has a stigma to it, too. why would we call someone that tall and stunningly sensual and sexy “average?” the entire topic is just dumb. and here’s why. one thing that bugs the hell out of me, and I say it all the time, is when we “average” folk can tell when one of the “superhuman” celebrities or models is lying to us. for instance, a supermodel who is 6′ 2″ and has breasts (each one) larger than my head can not and should not ever weigh only 100 pounds. or even 120. so why do they say that? why lie? why not tell the truth so that women everywhere can exhale, look in the mirror and be happy with what they see? if men won’t step up and stick up for women, women darn well should do it for each other. I’ve said it countless times: the sexiest women on this earth are the ones who FEEL sexy and healthy and alive and happy. it doesn’t matter what she weighs as long as she is happy and feels good about herself. we’ve all struggled with something about ourselves. that’s normal. it’s life. we have flaws. those, too, can be sexy. we have scars. we have lived life, for goodness sakes, how can we not have knots and bruises and broken bits? but dammit, if we hold our heads up and smile, we’re winning the battle. now, I must admit I love the SI Swimsuit Edition. I’ve combed it over. I’ve also drooled over the naked athletes issues (edit: that’s actually ESPN magazine, but I am an equal opportunity lover of good magazines). the human body is sexy. it’s supposed to make you feel something when you look at it, as with any strong photo of anything. it evokes emotion. it makes you want to go running. or put on strawberry lip gloss. or make love to your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife. my beef now as we move past this stupid topic of plus-sized models (they’re just MODELS, let’s leave out the unnecessary adjectives, please) is the cover photo on this year’s magazine. I look at this magazine and I think these women are beautiful, fun and sometimes quirky. so why start to enter that gray territory I like to call Skankville? why the photo of the girl pulling off her bathing suit? that bothers me. let’s keep it clean and fun and sexy. let’s try to not take it too far. K? and here’s the deal, again: let’s stop saying someone is plus-sized if they are the size of or even smaller than most women we know. let’s just call her what she is: adorable and worthy of a spot in any magazine as long as she’s smiling and happy and not a brat to deal with. now i’m done.